‘Marriages are made in heaven’, they say. For a very long time, human beings believed in this much as they did in the existence of God, rituals and idealistic living. Then, science and rationality came along. As the human mind started questioning the existence of any and every thing, it also questioned the concept of ‘marriage’.
The need to be with a partner for procreation is what the human mind understood and therefore the age old foundation of marriage started shaking.
Disgruntlements, arguments, separations and even divorces became commonplace. This breakdown of the society led the wary mind to introspect about its concepts regarding marriage and it realized that it is much more than just procreation.
A marital union gives you happiness in many ways, something that no other relationship can. And so, taking little efforts to keep ‘the spark alive’ should be on priority for everyone.
To help you with this, here are 5 secret ‘ingredients’ that will make your marriage last a lifetime:
1) Generous Amounts of Love
Love is the basis of all relationships. There are relationships that we are born with, like our mother, father, siblings…and then there are relationships that we create, like friends and our spouse. The latter are those that need expression of as much love as possible.
Love your spouse unconditionally, forgive small mistakes, do not carry grudges and spend time creating dreams and memories. A happy marriage also requires both partners to be patient with each other and be good listeners.
2) Lot of Adjustments
Adjustments…some from your end and some from your partner’s end will make your marriage work wonders. Do not expect your partner to make the first move, you go ahead and do it.
Adjustments should not create a loop of expectations for you. Remember, all the little things you do for your spouse are contributing to the success of your marriage, so it is not really a competition, but a collaboration.
And popping up all the ‘adjustments’ you made for your spouse as a weapon while arguing is a big NO… this will always leave your spouse with the feeling that all your actions have a hidden intent to them. So, keep the two separate… always!
3) A large portion of surprises
Everyone loves surprises. Surprise your spouse at their workplace and have a quiet, spontaneous lunch date. Or simply plan a surprise dinner! Special days call for special celebrations, so always remember to make your spouse feel loved on birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s day or any other day that is special to your relationship.
A small rose, a small gift, a romantic email or just a small ‘I love you’ message at a time, when least expected, will keep the love alive in your relationship. It is not the price of the gift that counts, but it is the emotion that does!
4) Go on vacations together
Each couple has their own common areas of enjoyment. Make sure you always keep some time aside for your holidays. Some love adventure, some love biking, some love trekking, some love cozy tucked in places, some like historical places.. and so on.
Remember the one interest that binds you and work together to make trips happen around these. The more you travel, the more facets of the other person will keep opening up to you, and who knows.. together you may develop an altogether new interest. It is important to see what works for you both and keep it close to your heart always.
5) A pinch of separation
‘Distance makes the heart grow fonder’ and in a complex dish like marriage, a pinch of separation is the master ingredient. Separation does not necessarily mean you have to plan individual trips but it also means giving your spouse the space to pursue interests of their own.
Until the point you met each other, both were separate entities, had separate set of friends and separate interests. A marriage cannot delete the first two decades or so of your life and the key to a long lasting marriage is this – Give your partner the space to be what he/she wants to be.
It may happen that certain areas do not interest you at all, but a little encouragement from your end will make your spouse feel happy. Everybody loves empathy and who deserves it more than the person you love!
All marriages have their own pulls and pressures. However, keep these basic ingredients in mind and you will see that you will find an equilibrium soon, which is essential for any marriage to last.