Marriage is an institution that can give you extreme happiness or extreme grief. It is the way you approach marriage. This obviously holds true for marriages where spouses are equal partners, and not for abusive or troubled marriages.
Marriages flourish best in an environment of love, care and understanding. There are troubled times too but as long as the foundations are built on love and trust, couples tide over these times and hold on to each other until good times start again.
However, what happens when people constantly complain of unhappiness in marriage? What happens when people cannot accept their spouse as the person he/she is? What happens when marriages become unbearable … a failed marriage?
A failed marriage holds the power to shake you up immensely, both emotionally and psychologically. Therefore, as long as you have this special relationship working for you, make sure you do not indulge into these 5 things that can really spell doom for your marriage:
1) T – Trust issues
Trust your partner. This is most important and that is why this is top on the order. If you are innately suspicious, then do not exercise this suspicion on your spouse, and use it only on others, that too when required. Some professions like that of a lawyer or a detective requires one to be suspicious and looking out for clues all the time.
But, remember, in a marriage neither are you a detective nor is your spouse a criminal. Keep it easy going right from the beginning so that both of you can build your marriage around trust rather than building it on excuses, lies and hidden facts. The mantra here is to remember to always give the benefit of doubt to your spouse.. you do that with your loved ones right?.. so why is marriage any different?
2) R – Rage issues
Anger, rage, temper.. can really spoil any relationship. While you may have anger issues that your family like your parents or sibling might have encountered, but expecting the same from your spouse is setting unrealistic expectations.
Enter the marriage as an equal partner, and never treat your spouse like the inferior one in this set up. There could be times when you are at the verge of shouting but remember verbal abuse is as agonizing as physical abuse. While the latter can totally spoil your marriage, the former also has the power to do the same. Respect your spouse and be respectful at all times.
3) U – Understanding Issues
As is the case with most of the arrangements where there is a team working that all members may not resonate with the same idea. Same is the case with marriage which is also essentially team work. The ‘difference of opinion’ is healthy and is the secret to happy marriages.
You have to understand the perspective of your spouse. Keep your ego and barriers down since this is the most rewarding team that you have ever worked in. So, understanding issues should never ever crop up! Even at times when you feel your spouse is being unreasonable, sit down and have a peaceful chat. Ever if the initiative is always from your end, you will realize that it will always be worth it!
4) S – Silence issues
Many a times you see couples sulking with each other and being totally non-communicative. This is one time when silence is definitely not golden. Always keep the communication channel open. It is your marriage that you are trying to work on.. therefore, you are an equal stakes partner.. then from where should egos and superiority complex creep in?
Keep it simple.. keep talking to your partner.. this works wonders.
5) T – Truth issues
When your mother taught you that telling lies is bad, she meant for all purpose. Lies in a marriage can really ruin all the love, respect and equity that you have created in this union. They also say that ‘one lie is the seed of a thousand other lies’, so refrain from saying that ‘one’ lie.
Always remember that this is the person who loves you and even if you have erred but speak the truth, there will be forgiveness that will come along. Depending on the nature of the lie, this may come sooner or later, but it will bring with itself renewed love and respect for you.
So, be truthful, no matter even if the truth hurts in the short term, it is sure to keep your marriage going in the long term.
So, refrain from treading on these five dangerous zones and revel in the love and stability that marriage brings to your life!