Choosing a life partner is not an easy a decision as compared to other decisions we make in our lives. Life throws its options at you at all stages. Let us look at the choices one has to make until it comes to choosing a life partner.
So, the first ten years or so of our lives are relatively uncomplicated with most of the choices being taken by our parents. It is the teenage that comes with its own set of choices, like those of your friends, education and so on.
Then, it becomes even more complex with the choice of your field of work, career, relationships and so on. But, the real test of judgment is when life throws at you the choice of choosing your life partner. Some of us get lucky and ‘falling in love’ makes our task easier.
But, all said and done, whether in love or not, if you are taking this all important decision of sharing and spending your life with this person, here are some of the aspects that you must consider for the sake of your happiness:
Not just love but there should also be a physical attraction between the two of you. What they say about ‘chemistry’ is not totally wrong! When you meet this person and you frequently keep meeting him/her, if the thoughts and the conversation between both of you are interesting, then you are sure to feel the physical tension also.
This is a good sign only as long as it is accentuated with feelings of love. Attraction without love is just lust and should never be the starting point of any relationship.
2) Common Interests
Reading books, going for movies, watching television shows, adventure sports, biking, trekking, collecting antiques, traveling.. it can be anything.. as long as the two of you have something common to talk about. It is these common interests that will bind you and help create many memories together.
After all, when you spend time with each other doing what you love doing the most, you end up feeling extremely happy. This happiness then acts as a catalyst for your love and relationship to grow and blossom.
3) Money Values
It is very important to have similar money values. Both of you may not necessarily have to be from the same strata of society to have similar values, but do talk about money to each other.
Remember, you are going to share your resources with each other, you are also going to create a future together and the one essential thing for it is money. So, whether both of you like to spend a lot, spend less or spend wise.. it has to resonate.
A best case scenario would include a discussion about savings and investments also and even if the knowledge of the other partner is not at par, the conceptual alignment should be there.
4) Parenting Ideas
This problem is faced by many couples in later years of married life. While being young, love and attraction colors most of your vision, it is important to have a conversation with your prospective spouse about parenting ideas.
This could begin with understanding the idea of your partner about having children, timelines with respect to planning children. There are also times when a partner may have some ideas about the upbringing of the child for e.g. whether he/she would prefer a stay-at- home mom vis-à- vis a working mom, whether the child goes to a boarding school or becomes a day scholar and so on. While these may seem very farfetched at the moment of making your choice, but you will realize its importance with passage of time.
5) Old Age Companion
And finally, after all the love, attraction, children and money…it is about getting old! This is also a reality of life. And when all the above mentioned points are passé, it is this person who is going to be sitting with you with a cup of tea and reminiscing about all the days gone by.
Such will be your bond by then, that both of you will be inseparable. Think about it right now if this is the person you want to grow old with. And if you see yourself nodding, you have the answer!
Our checklist is over, but there is much more to see and understand from your elders as well as your own experience. So take your time and take it slow.
The fruits that this relationship will bear are to be cherished forever, so a little caution then becomes necessary!