As young boys and girls, we grow up in an idyllic world – the one in which heroes always win, all princesses find their Prince Charming, bad can never ever prevail over good and there is a whole lot of happiness in the world. Rightly so, the child’s innocence is lost when these rose tinted glasses come off and so it is right to bring up children in a harmonious way with positive thoughts.
However, maturity and understanding of the world coupled with the life experiences make us more realistic. At this time, one is compelled to think “What happens after ‘happily ever after’?”, “Do marriages also have a shelf life?”, “What can be done to ensure that we (our relationship) do not fall in that zone?”
Getting deeper into this thought, these questions are not really a cause of concern but actually a cause of joy since you are in a pursuit of happiness, and would not mind giving it your best to ensure happiness exists till the end of the time. So, here are five indicators that will help you guide your relationships towards happiness. Take a look:
Adjustment Is Thy Name
Adjustment is no big deal…really! We have been doing it since the time we became conscious of the world and not just us, everyone around us is doing it too. Haven’t you adjusted with your siblings, friends, work colleagues or roommates … Then why does it become such a big deal in a marriage? This is the same person you fell in love with and your heart fluttered at the sight of him/her during your courtship, so what changes so much after marriage that daily chores become bigger than your partner? If two individuals have been brought up in different houses, their habits are bound to be different. However, it will just take some amount of patience and understanding from the other person to reach a level that makes both of you happy. So, instead of bickering, work towards reaching that level.
No Impositions Please
Everyone is a free willed individual and if they are mature enough to take such an important decision as that of marriage so rest assured that they are capable of taking all other small decisions of life too. Yes, there will always be a discussion and you’ll be asked for your opinion on conflict or confusion, but make sure you keep your participation to that level only. Imposing yourself on your partner and marring his/her individuality is suicidal for your relationship or rather any relationship. Refrain from taking charge of your spouse’s life but ensure that you are there in times of need… always.
Respect For Family
A marriage is not just a union of two individuals but a union of two families also. Often, we see that expectations with respect to responsibility and behaviour towards your partner’s family may vary. Why should that be? Both partners are expected to show equal involvement and love to the family of their spouse and this is the secret to earning the respect of your partner. Remember, what you will do is what you will get too. So, if you are aloof, then do not expect your partner to go all out to make your family happy.
Collective Decision Making
There will be a lot of decisions in your marital life that will have to be taken together – decisions with respect to children, the place of stay, buying a house or a property etc. Make sure you always involve your partner in the decision making process. While there will be a scenario where one of the partners is involved at a higher level with respect to an activity because he/she is executing it, but keeping your partner clued up on all the activity would indicate that you love and respect your partner and really value his/her opinion. This is a happy place to be… isn’t it?
Love, Love And More Love
Many years of togetherness and the rigmarole of daily life takes its toll on you and your relationship. But amidst all this, do not forget the bond that got you together in the first place – love. Keep the love alive in your relationship forever. Make sure you make time for your partner even during your busiest days and do not forget to express your love to him/her (as many times as possible). No one will ever object to that. In fact, this will just infuse more love in your relationship which is the basis of all the “happily ever afters”.
Blog by Shruti Thapar