There was a time when the terms ‘divorcee’,’widow’ or ‘widower’ were taken in hushed tones with most people sympathizing with your situation but not talking openly about it. But, not anymore!
People are openly talking about things going wrong with relationships, seeking help to save relationships and moving on to the next one if the first one does not work out. And all this is for the better!
This new found self confidence in the new generation of the society makes the communication channels open and moving out of an abusive or troubled relationship is not as difficult as it was in the past.
So, what really brought about this change? What happened in the last decade or so that second marriages have gained acceptance in the Indian society? What moved the needle towards this awakening?
Here are some things that might answer these questions for you:
Evolution of the Indian Society
The joint family set up is out and the nuclear family set up is in! To elaborate, there was a time when in the joint family set up, the issues between a husband and wife got a resolution through the extended family. In most cases, the sore areas never came out in the open for the fear of losing face amongst family members and hence got healed with the passage of time.
With nuclear family set ups, small issues become bigger issues faster and before you know it, you are divorced.
Secondly, the entire scenario where the woman in the relationship was servile to the man is also a thing of the past. Most working women are looking at a relationship of equality, and if they get it, they take or they let it go.
The good ‘Western’ influence
If you ever happen to sit with a veteran, he is sure to draw parallels of the ‘new’ Indian society with that of the Western society. While the subject is always open to debate, the good influence with respect to second marriages has been noticeable.
With more families having relatives in the West and getting exposure to their ways, it has helped the cause for those who are dealing with a bad marriage. Looking at successful second marriages in the Western society with families happily comprising of ‘your kids, my kids and our kids’, the Indian thinking has also moved progressively.
While the matter may still spark discussions amongst family and friends, it may not be such a big deal as it was in the past for Indians looking to get hitched again.
The many examples of ‘Happily ever after’
The social media boom and the widespread media coverage of any and everything under the sun has made the lives of the celebrities also extremely public. Relationships, affairs, marriages, divorces and second marriages are there for everyone to see and comment on.
The more we hear it, the more we talk about it.. the more we accept and internalize it. So, the next time we hear such an incident happening to someone you know or within your family, you would mostly sympathize with the people involved rather than trying to dig into the details of the separation.
With separations becoming normal, second marriages have also become as normal. A scenario where the man and the woman get second time lucky, they are already very careful to ensure that they do not repeat the mistakes they made the first time. Also, with age comes maturity to handle complex relationships and that also helps.
Moreover, if you already have children and looking to get married again, you are careful about the impact that your life and relationships could have on the psyche of your children, so you avoid being foolhardy, rather you would tend to be cautious at every step.
Effective counselling mediums!
There are many marriage counsellors and psychologists that help you in many aspects of marriage. There are counsellors to help you give your marriage a second chance and there are those who help you to completely come out of your relationships so that you can move on in life.
A failed marriage is sure to impact any individual and as they say, ‘once bitten, twice shy’.. this is where counselling really plays a role.
In all the aspects of your relationships, it is important to keep the faith. You may not end up with the person of your dreams the first time, but always remember that life always gives a second chance to everyone.
Those who are approach second marriages positively, mostly crack it and make it a success!