Congratulations on falling for your parents’ long standing requests and demands regarding your impending marriage. What’s next for you and your family now? That’s right! A trip to see the future in-laws!
We can’t say about other countries but the concept of arranged marriages is quite popular in India. First, the parents meet to see if their family are compatible with each other financially and socially. Then, their children meet with each other.
If they like each other, both sets of parents go ahead and finalize the wedding details. And even if you don’t know who your future groom or bride is, you will get a fair idea after meeting the in-laws. Here are a few things that might happen during the meetup:
1. Parents will dominate the conversation
You might like the girl or boy. But sorry – your inputs will be asked later! The first meetup is going to be a setting where your parents and family members will dominate the conversation most of the time.
The topics might range from profession (career goals, work location, ambitions et al) and lifestyle habits (food preferences, habits, cultural pursuits, drinking or smoking), to family background and siblings (are they married, where do they stay, how often do you meet).
2. You WILL feel awkward
And there’s nothing you can do about it. All this while, you won’t get a chance to open your mouth. The only thing you are expected to do is answer the questions posed to you directly and face the same kind of awkwardness the girl/boy is undergoing on the opposite side of the table.
IF your make an eye contact, pass on that “I have no clue what’s going on” smile. If s(he)’s smart, then they will get it and MIGHT even develop a liking to your honesty. Good luck with that!
3. Answer just 3 types of questions – yup!
Just to give you a heads up – here are the kinds of questions that can be asked to you:
- Questions that make sense: What are your future career plans? Are you alright to move to a different city, if need be? Do you love pets?
- Questions that you might find very amusing: What role does “love and affection” play in your life? What are the top 5 things you feel are a priority in your life?
- Questions that would make you want to shoot that person – not literally: “Would Donald Trump be elected as the President of the USA?” *Shoot if you haven’t done it yet!
4. Receive a lot of unwanted attention
Apart from getting judged based on your answers or interaction – if you are lucky, there will be a lot of darting eyes around the home. Everyone will get into the “Sherlock Holmes” mode to gather tiny bits of information such as the photos hanging in the room, the styling and decor of the room, the fragrance of the room freshener, a photo of you with your dog.
Basically anything that has mass and occupies space!
5. Whatever happens, just try to learn as much about your possible spouse as possible
What you need to concentrate on is your possible future partner. Now that we’ve got the negative things away, the families might find something that would create a bond between them. The fathers might turn up to be from the same college or something.
And the mothers might have a common taste for home décor or author. Your sister or brother might have already started liking the girl before even you know it yourself!
Things could turn out to be trivial, funny or horrendous. You may even find the person you’ve been looking for all this while – if you are really lucky and we hope you are! Stranger your first meeting, the better it would be for the number of stories you will get to tell people.
An arranged marriage is based on mutual trust and understanding of not only the partners but also their families. Here, it is the commitment that brings the two people together. Therefore, try to enjoy this unique experience as much as you can – that’s all can we say right now! And we really hope everything goes smoothly and you have the wedding of your dreams!